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I Was Emo When I Drew This

Today's guest is none other than Aatmaja Pandya! Aatmaja's work is soft, heartfelt, and deeply impactful, and I could honestly drink it up all day. I cannot wait until Check Your Texts comes out, and plan on tiding myself over by rereading Travelogue and Phantom about a billion times. But we're here to talk about something else, aren't we?
Let’s just sink into this for a moment.

Today’s guest is none other than Aatmaja Pandya! Aatmaja’s work is soft, heartfelt, and deeply impactful, and I could honestly drink it up all day. I cannot wait until Check Your Texts comes out, and plan on tiding myself over by rereading Travelogue and Phantom about a billion times.

But we’re here to talk about something else, aren’t we?

Good afternoon, Aatmaja! I am sitting in the middle of a sunny, grassy field, and you are on the edge of said field. If you wouldn’t mind just flinging your arms back and running at me…

I run faster than any average human can, because my cool and special pose makes me more aerodynamic, and my chakra is concentrated at my feet. Hi Gale!!

All right, I’m not going to pretend. I know what this is. You know what this is. In short, it is perfection, and nothing I ever do will surpass this masterpiece; but I must carry on. Would you mind describing this pinnacle of human achievement to our beloved readers? 

I call this piece Child Naruto in Rain (I Was Emo When I Drew This). I must have been 13 or 14! I was an upbeat teen with a dark and stormy heart that I didn’t fully understand until I grew up. I think this piece comes from a place of great loneliness, expressed through the medium of graphite and Naruto. As you can see, I tried to play this off for laughs by writing “I was EMO when I drew this and now I regret it now” in the upper left hand corner of the page. Someone has ominously written “Oh Well 🙂 ” underneath it. I have no idea who did this. “Naruto/fox Link/wolf” is just as mysterious. I thought it was related to Twilight Princess releasing but that game came out when I was 16?? What realization about Link’s fursona was so important that I had to write it down on my finished Naruto fanart?? I can only assume it was staggering. 

What’s funny about this is that Naruto wasn’t even in the top 10 of my favorite anime boyfriends. I just liked depressing subject matter and really, desperately wanted to be goth. This was a time when I was improving by leaps and bounds with every drawing, even though it didn’t feel like it. I remember being especially excited about the rain bouncing off of Naruto’s head. I definitely took that directly from whatever manga I was reading. Eventually I learned to cool it with the excessive folds in clothing. But I still make heads too big and hands too small!! 

FALSE. Incredible heads & hands as rendered by Aatmaja Pandya, for Travelogue, which is the perfect comic.

First, no!! There will be no slander on this Very Serious Comics Journalism Web Blog. Your heads and hands are A+ perfect. Second, I feel all of this very deeply. The moment that I realized rain bounces off of things (possibly, and I hate to say this, prompted by Love Hina?) was a moment that changed everything.

How did your artistic pursuits fit into your teen life? Did you share your work with friends, family, on the world wide web…?

I do have a very clear memory of sitting with my dad and showing him some drawings? I don’t think I ever showed him Child Naruto in Rain (I Was Emo When I Drew This). I DID show him a realistically rendered drawing of Epona from The Legend of Zelda and a colored pencil drawing of like, a magic orb. Otherwise I didn’t really share fanart with my family! I was way too shy and my older brother was a merciless teaser. I drew it mostly for the sweet satisfaction of impressing my friends… and because I wanted to get better faster so I could share stuff online and impress strangers. I never got to that point in high school, but I did have several burner DeviantArt accounts and a Gaia Online account where I tried to build up a following. An acquaintance on a Gaia forum I hung out on bought a terrible colored pencil commission from me and it was so validating. Akito Sohma, if you’re reading this, I’ve never forgotten that. 

Let it be noted for the record that Akito Sohma has done one good thing.

A piece of Fruits Basket fanart from the same period. IT’S PERFECT.

So you were a young artist, and now you teach comics workshops for young artists! What does that feel like? What do you try to keep in mind when you’re talking art with kids?

I really love it. I love working with teenagers. They’re funny and talented and it’s a joy to hear what they’re interested in. I think they’re at a point in their lives where adult influence can have a huge impact on their future, and I try really hard to be approachable for them. For me, having a kind, stable adult in my life who loved art (my old art teacher – hi, Mrs. Atkinson!) was so, so crucial. I hope I can be that for a kid who needs it someday. 

I think what separates a young person who will become an artist and one who won’t is the compulsion to create. Like, at that age, some kids want to do nothing more than draw all the time and get better and learn more and read more comics and on and on – it’s a hunger! They’re discovering a lifelong joy and pursuit and their fire is burning so brightly. The approach varies depending on the student, but I try to feed that fire as much as I can. I try to emphasize that holding on to that delight in creation is the most important thing. It breaks my heart when kids have already decided they’re bad at drawing. I try to reframe it like, no, you’re learning! And that in comics especially, communicating through your drawing is way more important than making it perfect. 

This is so true and important!! I feel like there comes a turning point in most young artists’ lives when they start holding their drawings up against other people’s and feeling discouraged, and finding validation at that age can make all the difference. 

On the subject of feeding the fire: any advice for sparkly-eyed youths drawing their passions?

Please, please keep drawing what makes you happy! Challenge yourself, but indulge yourself just as much. When you feel lost, return to the memory of what made you love drawing in the first place. Read books and watch weird movies and go outside and absorb all of that into your art. This is advice passed down from many other artists – even when you get older and start drawing for money, it’s possible for all your work to be personal work! Everything you do can teach you something new even if it isn’t your absolute favorite thing to draw. Work on projects that excite you, hold on to your integrity, remember that art is for the people and even if someone else is using it, it doesn’t belong to anyone but you. Surround yourself with good people who make you want to keep getting better.

The absolute strongest passion. I cannot get enough of this. It deserves its own post, honestly.

Viz recently announced that Inuyasha is getting Borutoed, which is a strange way to be reminded that we’re all getting older, but okay. In your ideal universe, which anime would be next on the docket? 

God. I only experienced Inuyasha by watching random episodes at 2am on Adult Swim, so I’m actually pretty excited for its Borutofication. The characters are cute!! 

HM… honestly, most of my formative anime are already getting remakes and sequels! Shaman King, Fruits Basket… hang on, I have to go look at my bookshelf for inspiration.

Okay, I’m back. D.N.Angel, 100%. Give me six more seasons of art thief demon soul bond gay nonsense, please. Except now they have kids.

YES? YES. This generation deserves the formative experience that is D.N.Angel. That aesthetic formed the entire core of my deviantART offerings for, uh, an amount of time.

Basically if you took the Yu-Gi-Oh! aesthetic and said Okay, Let’s Make It Angels Now. I cannot explain how exactly this changed me as a person, but it definitely did.



What are you into right now?

I subscribed to Shonen Jump last year through the app and keep up with a bunch of comics every week! I love shonen manga because even if one kind of sucks it’s probably still fun to read. Demon Slayer and Promised Neverland ended recently, so I started reading Time Paradox Ghostwriter (great premise and a total rollercoaster), Chainsaw Man (gory and completely nuts), and Black Clover (which is one of those aforementioned manga that kind of sucks but I love it anyway). I started Blue Flag and really enjoyed the first couple of volumes… I hope they add the rest of the series so I can read it legally… are you listening Shonen Jump……………

I’ve also slowly been playing classic Final Fantasy games for the first time!! I started with VII, then VI, and I’ll do VIII when I have time for it. I absolutely adore them. I was a Zelda kid, but if I had been playing these games instead I would have been drawing nothing but bishies with fourteen swords and saws for hands.

Blue Flag volume 1!

Anything else you’d like to mention? Upcoming projects, people you’d like to shout out, things I really should have asked but didn’t think to…?

I’m working on an unannounced project right now as well as my first original graphic novel with RHG! I have an extremely google-able name, so you should be able to find my website and all my social media that way. 

Shout out to:

Cathy G. Johnson, who talked about teaching with me for hours when I first started and is an amazing veteran educator! https://comicarted.com/

My extremely cool and talented friend Gale Galligan, who will be wrapping up their run on the BSC books this September with BSC #8: Logan Likes Mary Anne! (HEY NOW.)

All my comics family, who are lights in my life and who I miss dearly in quarantine! 

And my childhood friend Caroline, who first introduced me to manga, anime and fanart and is still my dear friend to this day. I miss you!

Thank you SO much for your time!!

Thank you so much for giving me the chance to look through my old fanart. I saved all my notebook drawings from high school and it was precisely for an occasion like this. Also thanks for letting me spend a whole evening talking about anime Gale I love youuuu

and i youuuuuu ;-;<33333333